Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Top Ten Reasons...

Why I'm not allowed to drink a 20 oz. Diet Coke at 5:30pm anymore:

I might*...

1.) Stay up way too late watching Bill Maher and reading The Help because, oddly, "I just don't feel that tired!"

2.) Have nightmares about Sarah Palin (see Maher, Bill) and the civil rights movement (see Stockett, Kathryn).

3.) Toss and turn until 5:15am, waking up my poor husband, who already had to get up at 5:45am this morning.

4.) Finally fall asleep and wake up three and a half hours later to the sound of the coffee maker's auto shut-off thingy beeping. (Miraculously P is quietly reading books in her crib...)

5.) Forget the proper word for the coffee maker's auto shut-off thingy because I am so exhausted.

6.) Accidentally pour coffee into my child's sippy cup and not realize it until she is holding in her hands and says "Mommy, hot!"

7.) Drop half of my hard boiled egg into my post-sippy cup, now lukewarm mug of coffee.

8.) Fish it out and drink it anyway because I don't have time to brew a new pot.

9.) Dump the rest out after reheating it in the microwave three times, remembering an email my mother sent me about microwaving water (It's bad, right? I really just skimmed through it.).

10.) Have to crack open another 20 oz. Diet Coke to get me through the rest of the morning...

* And by "might" I mean "did."

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